On Mon, Mar 10, 2014 at 10:31 AM,
Elder Hackleman,
This has been an eventful week. Grant had his 13th birthday yesterday. He has had a rough couple of weeks. I have gone back and forth trying to decide whether I would tell you about this. It's not that big of a deal, so I don't want you to get too fired up, but I will go ahead and tell you.
Last week he told us that there was a kid at school who has been bullying him. His name is Dane. Grant only has one class with him which is PE and they only have that class every other day. He also sees him during lunch time. Grant's group of friends at school are mostly the same kids he knew at Anderson Grove Elementary and his buddy Garret from church who is a grade ahead of him in school. Unfortunately, none of those kids are in his PE class with him. It has been going on for a while. The kid is always making fun of him and calling him gay. Grant just ignores him and moves on. Last week, he went into the boys’ bathroom during lunch to wash his hands and Dane was in there. He tried to pick a fight with Grant. Apparently he is rather tall, but very skinny. As you know Grant is not a fighter and he didn't know what to do. He was cornered and couldn't just walk away. Luckily another kid from their class came in the bathroom, distracted Dane and Grant was able to get out of there. Now he didn't know how to handle it.
We had many long discussions with him, but everything we tried to say just got Grant more upset. He didn't want to tell on Dane because he felt like he would only get made fun of more. Seth was at work so he wasn't involved in the conversation, but Nathan was so fired up I thought he was going to go straight to the school and take the poor kid out. Grant, Tim and I went grocery shopping at Walmart and as we were walking out a couple of kids were sitting by the door and had smiles on their faces as we walked by and sort of nodded to Grant. I didn't know what this Dane kid looked like, but I figured one of these kids must be him. I just about jumped on them and scratched their eyes out. I know I am one who over reacts, but it is my Grantie Bear we are talking about. When we got in the car Grant told me neither of these kids were Dane and one of them was his friend who he was thinking about inviting to his birthday party.
Grant told me that my over reaction was exactly why he didn't tell me stuff like this and he never planned on telling me again. This went into another long conversation, but to make it short, I told him he has to understand that I am a lot of talk and that is just what moms do, but I wasn't really going to scratch his eyes out.
After Seth got home from work, we told him all that had gone on and he had a good talk with Grant. When he talked to him, he didn't get all upset, he actually listened. It was like Nathan, Tim and I were chopped liver and Seth was the only one who made sense even though he was basically saying the same things we were, he was a lot calmer about it and he used his salesman abilities to really get through to Grant. He stood him up and taught him how to fight. He told him if the kid ever approaches him even one more time, don't wait, don't hesitate, don't even think about who is around, just punch him in the nose and break his nose. He told him not to ever let the kid victimize him again.
Anyway, that evening I was getting a lesson ready for church the next day and the first thing that popped up on LDS.org was a video from the church having to do with Bullying. After watching it, I wasn't 100% sure if we gave him correct advice, but I do know that Grant has such tender feelings that he wears on his sleeve, that he can become a victim very easily. I didn't think he would really punch the kid in the nose, but if he at least thought in his own mind that he might, he would come across differently and maybe it would go away.
The other thing we decided was to plan a big air soft war birthday party. We made awesome invitations and last Monday Grant started passing them out to 12 of his closest friends at school. Since then everything at school has changed. So far, Dane hasn't said another word to Grant, and there are lots of kids buzzing around Grant all the time now.
We picked up a bunch of pallets and today we are going to build some barricades for the teams to hide behind. The party is tomorrow. The boys are out for spring break all week. We are going to have pizza and snacks and Seth is going to organize the games so they continue to be awesome and fun.
I really think the combination of Grant knowing how to fight, and having something to look forward to, really has turned things around for him.
We finally got Grant to agree that we could come and watch him play dodgeball on Wed. and so we could at least see what the kid looked like. Seth, Nathan and I went and watched him play. We never could figure out which kid was Dane, and by the time we got there, Grant changed his mind and he wouldn't tell us. Maybe it was for the best.
We did tell him about some of the run-ins you had while you were in high school. He was too young when they happened so he didn't know about them at all.
On another note, Grant has been getting straight "A's" at school. Academically he is doing the best he has ever done. He has always worked so hard and it is finally paying off for him. He was given an award at school that the principal gives to kids who he thinks are doing something right. The school randomly gives a plate of cookies to a kid of the week. Grant got the award in February. He also was invited into the National Jr. Honor Society and exactly one week ago today, we got the acceptance letter. He is in. We are so proud of him.
So, today we are building, building, building. It's going to be fun.
On another note, your buddy David Mattes was in a car accident last weekend. He was driving home from Sidney at 3 am and ran into a guard rail and totaled his truck. According to the news report he spent a few nights in the hospital and alcohol was involved.
Ok enough depressing stuff, on a much lighter note, Lauren Gull just got her mission call. She is going to Argentina and leaves in July. Good for her. Did I tell you Brenton Christian got his mission call to Venezuela. I guess Mitchell Shields is going somewhere spanish speaking as well. Good for them:)
Seth met with the bishop and officially started his paperwork for his mission. We still need to get him in for his physical, shots, and dentist visits so it will be a little while, but hopefully we can work on all that stuff this week. He is out of his brace now and his doctor said he would sign him off for service. It's pretty exciting!
I love you!
Love mom
Hey sorry I am writing late. We went on a cool trip today to a place called honcupampa. It was awesome. That is a huge bummer about grant. I know how he feels. As much as I wanted to be in school, I was never really a fighter either. Seth will help him out, and nathan too. They are good big brothers. I am so proud of him though! And I hope his party goes great! NJHS! WOOOO! haha That is cool for the sidney kids. I hope seth goes spanish speaking as well. It would be awesome. I sure miss you guys. My comp elder guzman is getting transferred tomorrow so I will have another new companion! It is really weird but I have thought about david alot the last couple weeks. I don't know why but still. Hm. Bummer deal. I love you mom!
Elder Hackleman
